ZAP Your Tolerations!

by Val Hastings, Clergy Coach

WHAT IS A TOLERATION? A TOLERATION is anything that you put up with, take on, adjust to or are dragged into. A toleration can be someone else's behavior, an annoying situation, a crossed boundary, a frustration or an unfinished project. Here are some examples of tolerations: Excessive clutter, the neighbors' barking dog, poor customer service, clothes that no longer fit, traffic, not being paid on time.

Think of TOLERATIONS as white noise. You're not really aware of it, but it's there and it's having an effect on you and your performance. Tolerations drain your energy, create friction and increase your frustration level. Tolerations frequently distract you from your focus. During times of major change and transition excessive tolerations can take an otherwise gifted and skilled leader and cause him or her to behave in uncharacteristic and unproductive ways. In effect, excessive tolerations take an already difficult situation and turn it into chaos! Instead of allowing your tolerations to zap you, I want to encourage you to zap your tolerations.

Please take a couple of minutes and write down the things you are tolerating. You're tolerating more than you think! Keep a running list of your tolerations. Throughout the day as you think of another toleration, add it to the list. (Two years ago I came up with over 100 Tolerations. Now I have a list of 23 tolerations.) Remember, tolerations also include those little things that don't seem to matter too much, but when joined with several other seemingly insignificant tolerations really do have an impact. Sometimes just becoming aware of a toleration makes it possible for you to manage or eliminate that toleration.

After you have completed your Toleration list, ask yourself the following questions:

Why am I tolerating so much in my life?
What is the pay-off or benefit of NOT eliminating my tolerations?
Identify pivotal tolerations (A toleration that when eliminated will also resolve 5 or more items.)
Identify 5 to 10 items that you are tolerating that, if eliminated or resolved over the next 30 days, would dramatically improve the quality of your life.

Please understand that you will not be able to eliminate all of your tolerations, but by lowering your tolerations your performance as a leader will be positively impacted. Resolving tolerations will also have a positive impact on your quality of life as well as those that have to live with you. By eliminating many of your tolerations you will: improve your ability to focus, shift from reacting to responding, increase your patience and be generally more positive.

Go ahead......ZAP those tolerations!

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E-mail: val@coaching4clergy.com

Philadelphia Area